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Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::
Letter to husband - you'll love the p.s.
My darling husband, Before you return from your business trip, I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.
Fortunately it's not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.
The garage door is slightly bent but fortunately the pick up came to a halt when it bumped into your car.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will
forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.
Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::
A tough old cowboy counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he died. He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::
A PRESCRIPTION FOR STRESSFUL TIMES
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me
today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. Some
doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to
finish all the things you have started.
So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't
finished so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a
bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage
of Prungles, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valiuminun scriptins, the
res of the chesescke an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how bludy
fablus I feel rite now. Plaese sned dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned
ov iennr pisss. An telum, u blody luvum.!! Xx
Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::
In Cahoots.....
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane.
They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.
I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too
much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt.
That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense!
It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart!
At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane.
They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there.
I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too
much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt.
That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense!
It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart!
At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::
This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral...
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life.
A huge heart.... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I'm so sorry... I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a gynaecologist!'
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