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::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

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  • pakarang
    started a topic ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

    ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

    This is the continuation of our previous board thread with the same name, and a place where we can share funny images, stories and other items.

    Remember that a smile goes a long way and that happiness is rewarded by a longer and healthier life.

    The thread started here on the old board:

    http://captainsvoyage.7.forumer.com/...asc&highlight=

    We naturally continue here.

  • ombugge
    replied
    A useful coaster for all purposes.
    Front:

    Back:

    Leave a comment:


  • Ralf__
    commented on 's reply
    Here are some more explanations:

    American Company
    You own two cows.
    You sell one and lease her back. You found a shareholder company.
    You force the two cows to give four times as much milk. You are surprised as one dies.
    You publish a press statement and declare to have cut down the cost by 50%.
    Your share value is rising..

    French Company
    You own two cows.
    You go on strike because you want to have three cows.
    You go for lunch. Life is great.

    Japanese Company
    You own two cows.
    With the help of modern genetic technology you reduce the size of the cows down to 10% and they give 20 times as much milk.
    Now you create a clever Cow-Cartoon, call it cowkimon and merchandize it worldwide.

    German Company
    You own two cows.
    With the help of modern genetic technology you redesign the cows, so that they all get blonde, drink lots of beer,
    give milk of finest quality and run 100 miles per hour.
    Unfortunately the cows demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

    British Company
    You own two cows.
    Both are mad.

    Polish Company
    Your two cows have been stolen last week.

    Greek Company
    You own two cows.
    As you count them, an additional zero is sliding in your statistic.
    You send a report to the EU: "Economics are growing by 1.000% since last year.
    Because you are now allowed to incur debts in the worth of 12 cows, you raise credits in the worth of 25 cows.
    You squander the money. The EU borrows you the missing cows, that you can pay the interests.
    You have to cut down the costs extremely, your economic is shrinking.
    You brand the country, which borrowed you the additional cows.

  • ombugge
    replied
    Economic systems explained the simple way:
    http://www.atchuup.com/economics-of-...es-using-cows/

    Leave a comment:


  • wherrygirl
    commented on 's reply
    And so it is, Ombugge - excellent.

  • wherrygirl
    commented on 's reply
    Oh Nari, heaven forbid that we are so tightly regulated that we must walk on a particular side of the pavement. I walk whichever side suits me BUT if I want to change I do a quick look behind me to make sure that it doesn't trip someone up. In any case, people should not walk so close on another person's heels that a changer of direction should upset them! What I object to is the complete unawareness of many people that there may just possibly be someone else in town that day.who may want to share pavement space. All it needs is common courtesy.

  • ombugge
    commented on 's reply
    Moved on behalf of Nari:
    This comment should go after Ivy's reply but there was no way I could find a way to do so.
    I was going to add to her reply that in Scandinavia I was astounded how people walking along a road or street always stay on the right side of the pavement or road, as they should in a country that drives on the right hand side. This drives me crazy sometimes when I am walking in our shopping centre that everyone walks as they feel like it - cross over sides with no warning and look annoyed about it. Looks like the UK is no better!

  • ombugge
    replied
    I'm not a fan of either Yoga or Vodka, but thought this funny never the less:

    Leave a comment:


  • wherrygirl
    commented on 's reply
    Absolutely, Nari. But then good manners are becoming a rarity nowadays. Walking along local streets if two or more people are coming along in the opposite direction they make no effort to move aside as we pass, so it is I who steps into the gutter to avoid being knocked flat. Similarly people stand chatting, taking up the width of our narrow pavements and look quite surprised when I say excuse me - expecting them to make a little room. The answer is to walk straight along the centre of the pavement so that one or other of them has to shift!

  • nari
    replied
    How true. Does anyone else have to keep a constant eye on who is going to walk straight into him/her with a furiously tapping flexed thumb? They call it meeting a social need...I call it plain bad manners.

    Leave a comment:


  • ombugge
    replied
    Truth be told, this is the world of what in Singapore is called hand phones: http://www.straitstimes.com/opinion/...s-sept-13-2017

    Leave a comment:


  • pakarang
    commented on 's reply
    hahahahahahaha..... absolutely brilliant!

  • Remarc
    replied
    I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.
    I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor,
    Not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.
    Then I remembered the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30

    Leave a comment:


  • Remarc
    replied
    As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral,
    A voice from inside screams:
    "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"
    The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,
    "Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."

    Leave a comment:


  • ombugge
    replied
    As a long time Marine Consultant I take the liberty to post this article smp.no+:
    Det er faktisk ikke sikkert noen som helst har opplevd det, for det var en del alkohol til stede på låvefesten da jeg fikk fortalt denne historia.Så det kan være snakk om et typisk eksempel på fake news, falske nyheter, som det er så mye snakk om nå.
    Dessuten er det jo 1. april i dag.
    På en serviett

    Og ikke husker jeg alt som ble fortalt, heller. Selv om jeg noterte stikkord på en brukt serviett.Men han som fortalte historia kjenner iallfall noen som har sauer, tror jeg. For det er sauer det handler om denne gang. Hør bare her:
    Sist høst var en bonde på veg ned fra setra med saueflokken sin. Vi som bor på bygda vet at på slike sauesankerdager er det ikke særlig populært å kjøre bil på setervegene. Du blir mest til bry for saueeierne, så vi lar det helst være. Det gjorde derimot ikke mannen i denne historia, så det var sikkert en hytteeier fra byen, eller noe slikt, som ikke visste bedre.
    Før sauebonden rakk å be ham flytte bilen, sa mannen freidig:
    – Dersom jeg klarer å gjette hvor mange sauer du har – får jeg en sau da?
    – Greit, sa sauebonden litt overrumplet.

    Satellitt

    Mannen gikk ut av bilen, fant fram mobiltelefonen, surfa litt rundt på nettet og fant fram til «register over registreringspliktig sauehald og andre dyr med ull». Deretter sa han kjapt:
    – Du har 102 sauer.
    – Riktig, svarte saueeieren.
    Mannen med bilen røska stolt tak i det nærmeste dyret og slengte det inn i baksetet på SUV-en sin.
    Nå hadde bonden fått summet seg og kontret tilbake:

    Avtale

    – Dersom jeg gjetter hvilket yrke du har, får jeg dyret mitt tilbake da?
    Det var en avtale, og bonden sa straks:
    – Du er konsulent.
    Mannen i bilen så ut som et spørsmålstegn og ville straks ha ei forklaring:
    – Jeg skjønte det fordi du bare fortalte meg noe jeg visste fra før, og likevel skulle ha betaling for det. Dessuten har du heller ikke greie på sauer. Så la meg få tilbake bikkja mi, sa bonden strengt.

    Leave a comment:

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