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    Originally posted by pakarang View Post
    This one is really hilarious!!

    Helmsman Training

    A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard."

    Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor.

    The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?"
    Ok this made me LOL as well.............

    Comment


      Originally posted by pakarang View Post
      Deputy Gomer
      You've been sneaking into town and visiting James the barber's shop, haven't you????

      Comment


        Originally posted by ehp View Post
        You've been sneaking into town and visiting James the barber's shop, haven't you????
        I'm on my way over to you to pay you a surprise visit....

        But it won't be much of a surprise anymore I guess, since you now already know...
        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

        Comment


          Originally posted by pakarang View Post
          I'm on my way over to you to pay you a surprise visit....

          But it won't be much of a surprise anymore I guess, since you now already know...
          Coffee's on!!! Don't knock, just come on in!!!

          Comment


            Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk

            10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

            9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

            8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white out. You probably got here just in time."

            7. "I wasn't sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

            6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

            5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?"

            4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

            3. "The coffee machine is broken."

            2. "Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot."

            1. " ... in God's name, Amen."
            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

            Comment


              Employee Placement Method

              Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement. Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

              - If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in Engineering.

              - If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

              - If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to Manufacturing.

              - If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

              - If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

              - If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security.

              - If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing.

              - If they've left early, put them in Sales.

              - And if they're all bullying each other, they're Management material.
              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

              Comment


                Caféen? Domino



                Words at the end:
                After so may beers you have to lay down!
                Øistein

                If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you...

                Comment


                  Cool bottle line up - someone has waaaaay too much freetime on their hands!
                  With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                  Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                  Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                  Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                  Comment


                    The Norwegian population: some numbers:

                    I’m tired because I’m overworked:

                    Norway has about 4.000.000 people: deduct 1.400.000 retirees and 1.000.000 students or children under school age. The work force is about 1.600.000 people.

                    Out of these, about 1.000.000 people work in the Central Government leaving a relative workforce of 600.000 to do non-Governmental jobs.

                    Of these 600.000, about half of them are employed by the army, leaving the remaining work force at 300.000. Out of these, 250.000 work in the different departments of the local governments.

                    Now we have the work force slimmed down to 50.000….

                    Out of these 50.000, around 40.000 are on sick leave or hospitalized at any time: we then have a workable force of just 10.000 people.

                    Naturally, some also occupies the prisons: about 9.998 of the 10.000 people are locked up.

                    This leaves 2 people to do the job, and since you are sitting here reading this, I’m alone and busy getting the job done.
                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      • Why do we have to press “START” to turn off the PC?

                      • Howcome is the slowest moving traffic called rush-traffic?

                      • Why isn’t there any cat food with mice-taste?

                      • Howcome doesn’t the sheep shrink in rain?

                      • In the bank, howcome are doors left wide open and the pens chained to the desk?
                      With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                      Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                      Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                      Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by pakarang View Post
                        • How come doesn’t the sheep shrink in rain?
                        I may not be able to answer the other "unponderables" but I actually DO know the answer to this one...because rain isn't HOT!!! It's hot water and soap that causes wool to felt....................(why everyone should have a knitter in his life...)

                        Comment


                          Weddings and Funerals

                          Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

                          They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

                          Washington, D. C.

                          A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River.

                          "That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!"

                          "You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days."
                          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                          Comment


                            Originally posted by ehp View Post
                            I may not be able to answer the other "unponderables" but I actually DO know the answer to this one...because rain isn't HOT!!! It's hot water and soap that causes wool to felt....................(why everyone should have a knitter in his life...)
                            So if it's raining on a hot day, the sheeps do shrink?
                            "I may not be able to control the wind, but I can adjust my sails."

                            Enthusiastically regards
                            Torbjørn Nybø

                            Comment


                              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                              Comment


                                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                                Comment

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