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    Originally posted by pakarang View Post
    Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle
    Ok, you redeemed yourself on this one. I like number 6 particularly....

    Comment


      Originally posted by pakarang View Post
      You Know You're Growing Older When

      - Everything hurts , and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work anyway.

      - The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

      - You feel like you really hung one one the night before, and you were in bed asleep by eight.

      - You get winded playing chess.

      - Your children begin to look middle-aged.

      - You join a health club and don't go.

      - You begin to outlive enthusiasm.

      - Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.

      - You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

      - You look forward to a dull evening.

      - Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 years ago today!"

      - You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

      - Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

      - You're 17 around the neck and 42 around the waist.

      - You stop looking forward to your next birthday.

      - Dialing long distance wears you out.

      Great I am still young. I have nothing to list for this one.

      Comment


        A man found a magic genie who would grant him one wish. The man said to the genie,” I wish that I had a non-stop bridge from here to Hawaii." The genie said,” I’m sorry, but that's going to be very hard. Do you have another wish?" The man answered, "Of course! I want the power to understand all women." The genie thought for a minute. He replied, "How many platforms did you want on that bridge?"
        "I may not be able to control the wind, but I can adjust my sails."

        Enthusiastically regards
        Torbjørn Nybø

        Comment


          Life instructions:



          Silence:

          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

          Comment


            A couple of so-called 'red-neck images':

            Red neck grill:



            Red neck limo:



            Red neck flat screen TV:

            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

            Comment


              How to hide those really private files on your computer:



              Another quick joke at the cost of powerful Microsoft:

              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

              Comment


                This last one of many this evening is a bit long, but hilarious:

                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                Comment


                  The Three Laws of Secure Computing

                  1) Don't buy a computer.

                  2) If you do buy a computer, don't plug it in.

                  3) If you do plug it in, sell it and return to step 1.
                  With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                  Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                  Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                  Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                  Comment


                    Stupid Computer Tricks

                    - Computer manufacturers are considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

                    - A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.

                    - A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.

                    - A technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer put the disk in, asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and closing the door to his room.

                    - A customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then he removed all the keys and washed them individually.

                    - An exasperated caller to Tech Support couldn't get her new computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

                    - Another customer called Tech Support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      Another Reason to Fly First Class
                      Last edited by ehp; February 28th, 2009, 23:51.

                      Comment


                        Since there are no children in here, I take a chance on this one, which made me laugh (or do a LOL as we say in computer lingo):

                        I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked
                        for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in
                        our lives!

                        Some doctor on the TV this morning said that the way to
                        achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you
                        have started. So I looked around my house to see things
                        I'd started, and hadn't finished and, before leaving
                        the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of
                        Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys,
                        abutle of vocka, a pockage of Pringlies, tha mainder of
                        a botl Prozic and Valumscriptins, the res of the
                        Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who
                        fikin gud I fel.

                        Peas sen dis orn to anyy yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.
                        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by ehp View Post
                          Another Reason to Fly First Class
                          Based on how well that landing went, I think this was hilarious!
                          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                          Comment


                            This one is really hilarious!!

                            Helmsman Training

                            A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard."

                            Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor.

                            The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?"
                            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                            Comment


                              Deputy Gomer

                              The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer went in to try out for the job.

                              "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"

                              "11" he replied.

                              The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."

                              "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

                              "Today and tomorrow."

                              The sheriff was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

                              "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

                              Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

                              "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

                              So, Gomer wandered over to the barbershop where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
                              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                              Comment


                                The Mystic

                                An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.

                                The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.

                                The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.

                                The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.

                                The mystic chose the thermos bottle.

                                "Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.

                                "Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer."

                                "Yes -- so what?"

                                "Think about it." said the mystic reverently. That little bottle -- how does it know?"
                                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                                Comment

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