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::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

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    Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

    A Man and A Dog Walk into a Bar...
    A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.

    The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."

    "Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

    Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."

    The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

    The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."

    The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What??! They gave me a Chihuahua??!"

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      Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

      An Angry Wife
      A man left from work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.

      When he finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

      Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you li ke it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

      To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."

      Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

      Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

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        Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::








        This is only fulfil the requirement of enough words to get it posted..
        Ĝistein

        If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you...

        Comment


          Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

          Originally posted by Oistein View Post
          That is a good one... looking out the window at the tidal wave of water cascading down from above, it is so true.
          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com
          Old forum: http://captainsvoyage.7.forumer.com/
          Join us: Save the "Kong Olav" on facebook

          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

          Comment


            Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

            No comments required:

            Comment


              Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

              Love it, Ombugge!!!!
              Ivy

              "To thine own self be true.......
              Thou canst not then be false to any man."

              Comment


                Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

                What my mom taught me...

                My mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

                My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

                My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

                My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

                My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

                My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry out."

                My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

                My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

                My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

                My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

                My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

                My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!!!"

                My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

                My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - Stop acting like your father!"

                My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

                Comment


                  Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

                  All true, but I especially like this one:
                  My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

                  Comment


                    Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

                    Any Project Managers among the CVF family???

                    Most of this all true: http://projectplanonline.com/?p=1402...mber_132943047

                    Even more true: http://projectplanonline.com/project...ement-funnies/
                    Last edited by ombugge; July 11th, 2012, 16:12.

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                      Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

                      No.10 in the first list reminds me of a card to display on your desk that was very popular back in the 90's:
                      "Why be difficult when with a little more effort you can be impossible."
                      Ivy

                      "To thine own self be true.......
                      Thou canst not then be false to any man."

                      Comment


                        Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::




                        This is just padding
                        Ĝistein

                        If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you...

                        Comment


                          Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

                          In the UK, also, Ĝistein!
                          Ivy

                          "To thine own self be true.......
                          Thou canst not then be false to any man."

                          Comment


                            Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

                            How about this one??

                            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com
                            Old forum: http://captainsvoyage.7.forumer.com/
                            Join us: Save the "Kong Olav" on facebook

                            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                            Comment


                              Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

                              .... just in case!

                              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com
                              Old forum: http://captainsvoyage.7.forumer.com/
                              Join us: Save the "Kong Olav" on facebook

                              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                              Comment


                                Re: ::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

                                It's so true:

                                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com
                                Old forum: http://captainsvoyage.7.forumer.com/
                                Join us: Save the "Kong Olav" on facebook

                                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                                Comment

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