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    An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

    The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, “Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc ?”

    The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

    “I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.
    Out of habit he raised his cane , aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously , two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that ?” asked the doctor.

    The 86-year-old said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

    The doctor replied , “My point exactly.”

    Comment


      With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

      Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
      Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

      Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

      Comment


        Originally posted by pakarang View Post
        This is my life.

        Comment


          A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

          Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

          She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

          The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'

          The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

          The husband thought for a moment:'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'

          The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!....the husband became 92 years old.

          The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.

          Comment


            DEER CAMP

            Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

            Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire. "Damn man, how long you been here Frank, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

            "Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, "Guess who?'" I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do what ever you want."

            So, Here I am!!!

            Comment


              The Airport Solution


              Here's a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports.

              Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.

              It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift. Case closed!

              This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now: you're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion.

              Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, "Attention standby passengers we now have a seat available on flight number..."

              Works for me!

              Comment




                Comment


                  Is that a webcamera?

                  With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                  Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                  Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                  Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                  Comment


                    I love "what the duck":

                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      Yes, that is so correct:

                      With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                      Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                      Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                      Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                      Comment




                        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                        Comment


                          This little guy ROCKS!!!!

                          Last edited by ehp; May 21st, 2010, 15:10.

                          Comment


                            In case you thought you were flexible.....

                            You have to get through about a minute of singing (which isn't bad) , to get to the good part...

                            Comment


                              A Blonde's Year in Review


                              January
                              Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

                              February
                              Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
                              Helllloooo!!!...........bottles won't fit in printer!!!

                              March
                              Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..Box said ' 2-4 years!'

                              April
                              Trapped on escalator for hours ... Power went out!!!

                              May
                              Tried to make Kool-Aid. wrong instructions. 4 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

                              June
                              Tried to go water skiing.........Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

                              July
                              Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
                              Learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

                              August
                              Got locked out of my car in rain storm..Car swamped because soft-top was open.

                              September
                              The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

                              October
                              Hate M & M's.....They are so hard to peel.

                              November
                              Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

                              December
                              Couldn't call 9 11. 'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!



                              THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR

                              A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

                              She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

                              A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

                              As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

                              Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'

                              To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
                              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                              Comment


                                Pretty neatly displayed:



















                                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                                Comment

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