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    Originally posted by pakarang View Post
    Stavros Flatley returned in the semi-finals:

    ....
    And then again, in the finals:

    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

    Comment


      An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

      His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

      Dear Vincent,
      I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
      Love,
      Papa

      A few days later he received a letter from his son:

      Dear Pop,
      Don't dig up that garden.
      That's where the bodies are buried.
      Love,
      Vinnie

      At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

      That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

      Dear Pop,
      Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
      That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
      I love you,
      Vinnie

      Comment


        Fantastic Remarc... Loved it!
        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

        Comment


          Gotta love the Irish

          Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'

          Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

          Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

          Comment


            Gotta love the Irish pt. 2

            Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

            The man said, 'I do, Father.'

            The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

            Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

            'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.

            'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

            Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

            O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

            The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

            O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'

            Comment


              Gotta love the Irish pt. 3

              An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

              He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

              'Just water,' says the priest.

              The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

              The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

              Comment


                What about a true Irish story?
                Some may remember a famous bank hist in Nice during Easter many years ago, where a gang dug a tunnel under a bank, entered the vault and got away with a lot of money and valuables from private bank boxes? (Some of it never claimed, as it wasn't declared or legal wealth)

                Well, some years later, Paddy and his merry men was going to do a copycat heist in Dublin. They worked like moles for the entire Easter holiday and eventually got under where they figured the bank vault was.
                They dug upwards, and found themselves in the Ladies toilet.

                Comment


                  Another true Irish story, also involving the French in some way.
                  During one of the frequent strikes in Franc, truckers blockaded the ports to refuse entry to foreign trucks. This upset some Irish truckers, who decided to take their frustration out on the visiting French President, Mr. Mitterrand.
                  While he was meeting with the Irish President the truckers drove their trucks up and parked to block his exit in an attempt to hold him "hostage".

                  Mitterrand left by the back door.

                  Comment


                    Another in a series of important health information for women. Please pass this along to any lady in your life....

                    Uummm. come to think of if...some Norwegians I know might be able to use some of the information as well...


                    Important Women's Health Issue:

                    *Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
                    * Do you suffer from shyness?
                    * Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
                    * Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?

                    If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
                    pharmacist about Margaritas.

                    Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
                    about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your
                    shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do
                    just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost
                    immediately and with a regiment of regular doses you can overcome any
                    obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

                    Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
                    discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
                    living, with Margaritas.

                    Margaritas may not be right for everyone; Women who are pregnant or
                    nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't
                    mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

                    Side effects may
                    include:
                    -Dizziness
                    -Nausea
                    -Vomiting
                    -Incarceration
                    -Erotic lustfulness
                    -Loss of motor control
                    -Loss of clothing
                    -Loss of money
                    -Loss of virginity
                    -Table dancing
                    -Headache
                    -Dehydration
                    -Dry mouth
                    -And a desire to sing Karaoke

                    WARNINGS:
                    * The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when
                    you are not.
                    * The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over
                    and over again that you love them.
                    * The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.
                    * The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse
                    with members of the opposite *** without spitting.

                    Please share this
                    with other women who may
                    need Margaritas.

                    Comment


                      A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She
                      timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can
                      tell me how a patient is doing?"

                      The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the
                      name and room number of the patient?"

                      The grandmother, in her weak, tremulous voice, said, "Norma
                      Findlay, Room 302."

                      The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check
                      with the nurse's station for that room."

                      After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and
                      said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma
                      is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine, her blood work
                      just came back normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has
                      scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

                      The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so
                      worried. God bless you for the good news."

                      The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma
                      your daughter?"

                      The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No
                      one tells me crap."

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by Remarc View Post
                        A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She
                        timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can
                        tell me how a patient is doing?"

                        The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the
                        name and room number of the patient?"

                        The grandmother, in her weak, tremulous voice, said, "Norma
                        Findlay, Room 302."

                        The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check
                        with the nurse's station for that room."

                        After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and
                        said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma
                        is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine, her blood work
                        just came back normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has
                        scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

                        The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so
                        worried. God bless you for the good news."

                        The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Norma
                        your daughter?"

                        The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No
                        one tells me crap."
                        Remarc: that one is absolutely BRILLIANT!
                        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                        Comment


                          Some funnies.... for your entertainment....

                          A really smart kid:



                          Any BBQ must have:



                          Proof of global warming:



                          Best tattoo ever:



                          Something which is going to hurt - a lot:



                          Th saddest face I've ever seen:



                          The Ass family:

                          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                          Comment


                            From the looks of it with that last one, you have found my family.......

                            Comment


                              Helpful Tips

                              1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

                              2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

                              3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

                              4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HI T THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

                              5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

                              6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

                              7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

                              DAILY THOUGHT:

                              SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by Remarc View Post
                                6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
                                It is said that Southern girls can fix anything with duct tape and bailing twine.

                                I do a pretty good job at being to be one of these girls.

                                Comment

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