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    Very clever... I don't have the brain power to create cartoons, but I do love reading short cartoons such as these.
    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

    Comment








      With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

      Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
      Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

      Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

      Comment


        On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

        The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

        So God agreed......


        On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

        The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

        And God agreed......

        On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

        The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

        And God agreed again......

        On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

        But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

        "Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

        So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

        Life has now been explained to you.

        (There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.)

        Comment


          Always looking for something funny to do to other people.....it's funny to watch, but I DARE any of our members to try this at home.....

          Disappearing Water Prank

          Comment


            Originally posted by ehp View Post
            Always looking for something funny to do to other people.....it's funny to watch, but I DARE any of our members to try this at home.....

            Disappearing Water Prank
            I like it! But there is one flaw in that prank, it leaves your victim with a big stick in their hands - Time to run like hell!
            Your charts, your radar, your eyes and ears - if all 4 agree, you may proceed with caution.

            Comment


              Comment


                “All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” ― Spike Milligan

                Comment


                  Since Jan-Olav isn't around to act as my censor, I'm going to go ahead and post this rather naughty--but funny---one...


                  The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.
                  'No way! No needles. I hate needles' the patient said.
                  The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.
                  'I can't do the gas thing The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!'
                  The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
                  'No objection,' the patient says. 'I'm fine with pills.'
                  The dentist then returns and says, 'Here's a Viagra tablet.'
                  The patient says, 'Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!'
                  It doesn't' said the dentist, 'but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.'

                  Comment


                    “I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”

                    ― Jennifer Yane

                    Comment


                      From Lady E by e-mail today:

                      CANNIBAL:
                      Someone who is fed up with people.

                      CHICKENS:
                      The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

                      COMMITTEE:
                      A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

                      DUST:
                      Mud with the juice squeezed out.

                      EGOTIST:
                      Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

                      HANDKERCHIEF:
                      Cold Storage.

                      INFLATION:
                      Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

                      MOSQUITO:
                      An insect that makes you like flies better.

                      RAISIN:
                      Grape with a sunburn.

                      SECRET:
                      Something you tell to one person at a time.

                      SKELETON:
                      A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

                      TOOTHACHE:
                      The pain that drives you to extraction.

                      TOMORROW:
                      One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

                      YAWN:
                      An honest opinion openly expressed.

                      and last but not least.....

                      WRINKLES:
                      Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
                      With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                      Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                      Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                      Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by ehp View Post
                        Oh, I hope this link works...

                        If you need something to kill a little time, look at the latest Tiger Woods Game

                        http://www.atom.com/fun_games/tiger_woods_defense/

                        too much fun!!!
                        TW was strung out at youtube yesterday:

                        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                        Comment


                          As a public service to all our dear family here at CVF, I am posting a link to a very important video that all our male members should watch. Girls, go right ahead as well, it will make you laugh out loud....


                          "]Nine Phrases Women Use[/URL]
                          Last edited by ehp; March 17th, 2010, 00:01.

                          Comment


                            Originally posted by ehp View Post
                            As a public service to all our dear family here at CVF, I am posting a link to a very important video that all our male members should watch. Girls, go right ahead as well, it will make you laugh out loud....

                            .....
                            Imagine how much trouble I could have avoided had you posted that before.

                            My personal favorite was number 9 though...
                            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                            Comment


                              From my e-mail in box today....

                              DEAR DIARY. DAY ONE

                              All packed for the cruise ship - all my ***iest dresses and make-up. Really excited.

                              DEAR DIARY. DAY TWO

                              Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain
                              today - seems a very nice man.

                              DEAR DIARY. DAY THREE

                              At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck.

                              Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

                              DEAR DIARY. DAY FOUR

                              Won $800.00 in the ship's casino.

                              Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

                              DEAR DIARY. DAY FIVE

                              Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was shocked.

                              DEAR DIARY. DAY SIX

                              Saved 1600 lives today - twice.
                              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                              Comment


                                Lady E also sent me this, so I found it on youtube and wanted to share it with everyone here:

                                Riverdance will NEVER be the same...

                                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                                Comment

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