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::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

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      I have to link this for y'all because it would be WAAYY too difficult to post it all...


      *** Explained "Graphically" with Pens.....

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        Hilarious... I laugh so the milk... (ehhh.. ink... ) flows out my nose!
        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

        Comment


          I am not sure if the father in the below referenced dialogue is still alive or not.......

          A son asked his mother the following question:
          'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies:
          'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

          The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.
          'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
          The father looks at his son in surprise and says:
          'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

          Comment


            Well, there will be something here to offend all of us..

            Well, except our Norwegian siblings....and I think they will enjoy it ALL.....

            Remember "Blessed are they that can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused..."


            Update on Threat Levels

            The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
            and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon
            though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
            Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940
            when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
            "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
            "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

            The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the
            Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the
            reason they have been used on the frontline in the British army for the last
            300 years.

            The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
            alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
            "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
            that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
            country's military capability.

            It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has
            increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate
            Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat
            Operations" and "Change Sides."

            The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
            "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also
            have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

            Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
            threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

            The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
            These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so
            the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

            Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their
            allies, just in case.

            New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".
            Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty
            teenagers flying paper airplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime
            Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which
            is "@#%^!, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

            Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
            "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!,"
            "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie is
            canceled." So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final
            escalation level.

            Comment


              E, just had to say you’ve excelled yourself recently in the keep-us-all-smiling department. Can’t imagine how you have the time to look out all these brilliant things . . . and do your 365 . . . and all that home cooking . . . and packing for your next travels . . . and your blog . . .
              – please give my belated best wishes to birthday-girl Alix whose sequence of expressions on seeing the car also gave me that gorgeous smile of the day (see, I’m not completely veering off-topic here!)

              Comment


                I was lucky enough to have a sighting of Hömo Studentus Universitatus a few times over the Christmas Holidays. I am also proud to announce that I have also frequently spotted its slightly immature sibling, Hömo Studentus Preparatorus...


                Kids home on college break: hömo studentus universitatus season is winding to a close
                Barbara Brotman

                January 11, 2010

                For nature lovers, this season has brought the appearance of a special species, hömo studentus universitatus, a.k.a. the college student on break.

                This highly social creature, which travels in packs and leaves a trail of unwashed dishes, is apparently drawn to return every winter to its parental nest. Researchers speculate that it is attracted to large-screen TVs, down comforters and a ready supply of food.

                The initial arrival of hömo studentus in late December is heralded by the appearance of a large pile of dirty laundry. This is followed by other piles of shoes and clothes, as the denim-rumped primate marks its territory by covering all flat surfaces with its possessions. Within days, the floor of its den is nearly impassable, though interestingly, the creature itself seems not to notice.

                It generally remains in its winter habitat through mid-January, displaying the characteristics that make it a particularly intriguing form of wildlife.

                A nocturnal animal, hömo studentus is rarely glimpsed before mid-afternoon. Observers are warned: Do not attempt to disturb it before it awakens, as it can become hostile.

                Once it begins to stir, it generally moves slowly to the vicinity of a television and a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. Again, do not approach it; at this point the creature appears to be unable to engage in conversation or even to hear sounds such as requests to walk the dog.

                By late afternoon, however, hömo studentus becomes fully conscious and begins to interact with other members of its species.

                Hömo studentus communicates largely by using its opposable thumbs for texting. The species' social structure is complex and communal. Individuals gather in collectives, similar to hives, with different individuals fulfilling specific roles. One may buy the beer; another may surf YouTube for funny videos of animals.

                They will often congregate on sofas in family rooms, burrowing underneath fleece throws and blankets. The pack can grow so large and dense that it may be difficult to discern which feet belong to which body. Observers trying to track the populations are advised to count heads.

                Hömo studentus is an extremely intelligent species, judging by the creatures' GPAs, their verbal interactions and their speed with answers to "Jeopardy!" However, scientists are puzzled by their inability to fold blankets or put dishes into a dishwasher. It may be that their brains have evolved to specialize in such tasks as remembering lines from movies and applying to graduate school, to the detriment of those parts of the brain that are involved in such tasks as hanging clothes in a closet.

                They appear to be cold-blooded, judging by the levels at which they set the thermostat. On the other hand, their preference for indoor heat may be a function of not paying for utilities.

                Those who hope to observe this species closely can attract them by providing the right environment. Set out feeders, e.g. pizzas. Scatter indoor areas with pillows. Provide premium cable channels and potato chips. Stay out of sight and don't touch the remote.

                You may not always see the creatures themselves, particularly if you sleep at night. Some people have gone days without seeing the examples of hömo studentus that have taken up residence in their homes. Be patient, and look for signs: A profusion of hair-care products in your bathroom, perhaps, or tire tracks in the snow on your front lawn. Eventually, even the most elusive of the creatures will show themselves, if only to ask you to buy more Honey Nut Cheerios.

                The rewards of the species' visit are substantial -- a window into a complex society, happy noise in a quiet house, an impressive library of funny animal videos and the way your credit card feels so vibrantly alive. Indeed, many wildlife watchers are reluctant to see the creatures depart, and abandon their roles as observers to hug and kiss the creatures.

                But the hömo studentus season is brief. No matter how much the creatures have enjoyed the family nest and the use of their own bathrooms, they will soon return to college. Nature lovers must put away their binoculars, turn down the thermostat and bide their time until spring migration.

                Copyright © 2010, Chicago Tribune
                Last edited by ehp; January 26th, 2010, 18:46. Reason: freakin' filters!!!!! It's a scientific term, ferchrissakes!!

                Comment


                  My daily dose of What the Duck....





                  With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                  Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                  Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                  Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                  Comment


                    You just got to love the subtle wit of this photographing duck:





                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      Just three more for today:





                      With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                      Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                      Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                      Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                      Comment


                        funny funny funny...especially the "puppies" and the "hell" one...... Thanks for the SMILE!!!!

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                          CV forum's answer to those brilliant What the Duck cartoons


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                            Very well done Cecilia! I LOL at my desk at work that a coworker came over to see what was so funy and I had to click the close button very quickly (he wouldn't have understood and I did not want my boss to find out).

                            Comment


                              Delighted to have successfully created a smile, (and that you still have a job Paul ). I might just be persuaded to make What the Gull a regular treat –well, at least an occasional feature when inspiration strikes.

                              (I really got into these cartoons when pakarang set one in the Add your own subtitle to the image thread – the original captioned was removed, and you can see what I came up with here if you missed it at the time.)

                              Comment


                                Very clever... I don't have the brain power to create cartoons, but I do love reading short cartoons such as these.
                                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                                Comment

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