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::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

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    Just remember as you read this,this person probably drives AND votes!
    And may have already reproduced.


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      Originally posted by ehp View Post
      Just remember as you read this,this person probably drives AND votes!
      And may have already reproduced.


      Well, he could be like me, a cynical old fart with a sarcastic streak,
      But then again????

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        Oh, I hope this link works...

        As Dane will testify, this is what SOME rednecks do in the South for entertainment...

        (No, none of my family members are involved, thankyouverymuch......)

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          An UGLY man walks into the bar with a big grin on his face, and orders a draft beer.

          'What are you so happy about?', asks the Bartender.

          'Well, I'll tell you,' replies the ugly man 'As you know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home from the bar last night, I noticed a young woman tied To the tracks, just like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.

          Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything! Me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!'

          'Fantastic, you lucky bastard!', exclaimed the Bartender. 'Was she Pretty?'

          'Dunno...Never Found the Head!

          Comment


            Originally posted by ehp View Post
            Oh, I hope this link works...

            As Dane will testify, this is what SOME rednecks do in the South for entertainment...

            (No, none of my family members are involved, thankyouverymuch......)

            The scary thing is that I have everything needed to do that.

            Pond, got it.
            Excavator, got it.
            Water skis, got them.
            Ample supply of beer to do something crazy, got it.

            Comment


              A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me....I know 'em all.'

              A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'


              The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy. Its W.'

              Comment


                FINALLY, I'm also tall, dark and handsome...

                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                Comment


                  That photo caption is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by ehp View Post
                    That photo caption is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!
                    So thrilled that you enjoyed it!
                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      I just thought I'd share this with you all, it has made what has been an awful few weeks into a little light hearted relief.

                      "Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road.

                      One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 MPH! Their radar then suddenly stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.

                      Just then, a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had, in fact, latched on to an RAF's 'Tornado' jet fighter, which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district, approaching from the North Sea.

                      Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint about the wrecked radar equipment to the "RAF Liaison" office.

                      Back came the reply in true laconic "RAF" style:

                      "Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your radar equipment, and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the pilot flying the Tornado recognised the situation, and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched.

                      Have a good day."
                      Infamy, Infamy.... They've got it in for me! Said The Laughing Assassin.

                      Comment


                        That has indeed put a big smile on my face - love it!


                        P.S, Hope all is ok for you Paul, not seen you on here much recently, and this made me wonder how you were.
                        Originally posted by SaintsFCFan View Post
                        I just thought I'd share this with you all, it has made what has been an awful few weeks into a little light hearted relief.
                        Last edited by Steve.B; December 16th, 2009, 03:12.
                        Your charts, your radar, your eyes and ears - if all 4 agree, you may proceed with caution.

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                          I send a hug to Paul, too!!!!!!!!!

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                            Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or ***ual preference of the wish.

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                              Random Thoughts

                              1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
                              2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
                              3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
                              4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
                              5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
                              6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
                              7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
                              8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
                              9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
                              10. Bad decisions make good stories.
                              11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
                              12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
                              13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
                              14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever..
                              15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
                              16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
                              17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
                              18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
                              19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. (tag line--"Every kiss begins with Kay") I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Lights than Kay.
                              20. Wouldn't it make your life a whole lot more fulfilling knowing you worked to live and not lived to work!

                              Comment


                                Fox News and CNN have reported that Elin Nordegren moved to the top of the money list on the PGA Tour yesterday after 'beating' the world's number one golfer. The news came after the world's number one golfer inadvertently played the wrong hole...

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