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    Very funny! Got to update my FB status!
    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

    Comment


      From Elizabeth (who else):

      An old Jamaican man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden , but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

      Dear Vincent,

      I am feeling pretty badly because it looks like I won't be able to plant my Yellow Yam and Sweet Potato Garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me....

      Love, Dad
      A few days later he received a letter from his son:

      Dear Dad,

      Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies.

      Love, Vinnie
      At 4 a.m. The next morning, CID agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

      Dear Dad,

      Go ahead and plant the yams and potatoes now the ground has been dug up. That's the best I can do under these circumstances.

      Love, Vinnie
      With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

      Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
      Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

      Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

      Comment


        From Elizabeth: Seinfeld teaches history....

        Not sure if I should cry or laugh...

        http://cooperativelearning.learnhub....eaches-history
        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

        Comment


          Submitted by e-mail, shared by forum:

          The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

          Here are the winners:

          1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

          2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

          3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

          4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

          5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

          6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

          7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

          8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

          9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

          10. Osteo****osis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

          11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

          12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

          13.. Glibido : All talk and no action.

          14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

          15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

          16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

          17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

          The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

          And the winners are:

          1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

          2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

          3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

          4 esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

          5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

          6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

          7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

          8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

          9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

          10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

          11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

          12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

          13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

          14. Oyster, n.. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

          15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

          16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

          Comment


            Submitted by e-mail: shared by forum:

            Why do you want this job?


            # Why, what's wrong with it?

            # My unemployment extension runs out in two weeks

            # Please, please, pleeeeeease....

            # My last boss was such a putz; I'm sure you won't be as bad as he was

            # I've been branding, networking, updating my resume, searching job boards, and going to job fairs and workshops; what more could you want?

            # My printer's out of toner; I can't print any more resumes

            # I have a big mortgage, a new car and a bunch of credit card bills

            # I won't cost much; I swiped a bunch of office supplies at the last place I worked

            # Do you mind if I smoke?

            # I believe the lighting in your office brings out the highlights in my tattoos

            # Will we be done soon? I bowl at 4:30

            # My last boss told me that if I didn't show up on Friday, I might as well not come in on Monday; I thought i was getting a four day weekend
            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

            Comment


              Posting some funny "thingies" on behalf of a member:

              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

              Comment


                Barbie doll has become considerably older:



                So has Tweety Bird as well:



                And Superman:



                And Wonderwoman:



                batman and Robbie:



                Spiderman:



                And one that I don't remember who was:

                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                Comment


                  Thor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by ehp View Post
                    Thor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                    You are about to be crowned "Queen of Exclamation Marks"
                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      Like you haven't figured that out by now?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Comment


                        Congratulations, Norway...you got second place in the "Hottest Heads of State"

                        http://hottestheadsofstate.wordpress.com/list/

                        Comment


                          Originally posted by ehp View Post
                          Congratulations, Norway...you got second place in the "Hottest Heads of State"

                          http://hottestheadsofstate.wordpress.com/list/
                          .... and you put THAT in the funnies thread?
                          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                          Comment


                            Here is an incredibly funny link with tons of laughter....

                            Make sure you browse more than the first page images, since there are hundreds of other good images/ fixes further back in older posts....

                            http://thereifixedit.com/
                            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by pakarang View Post
                              .... and you put THAT in the funnies thread?
                              well, don't you think rating heads of state according to "hotness" is rather hilarious???? (not great at diplomacy, but has a dynamite bod..." Don't think so........)

                              Come to think of it, I think that might be part of the problem here...........

                              Comment


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