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    Center for Disease Control AND Prevention Alert

    The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.
    This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).
    If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

    Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

    You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is, sadly, controlling your life. Get help immediately.

    Comment


      A letter from Gramma....

      Dear Grand-daughter,

      The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

      I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

      I found that lots of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!' and 'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

      Then everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
      yelling something about a sunny beach.

      I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

      My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

      A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.

      I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
      Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

      Will write again soon,

      Love, Grandma

      Comment


        Seagulls love ice... some photos:
        http://www.nexusboard.net/showthread...208#pid3269591

        Comment


          Originally posted by Eilun View Post
          Amazing... they sure do love their ice!
          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

          Comment


            Originally posted by Eilun View Post
            I so totally agree, and in Cornwall they work in pairs. One distracts you by making it look like he's going to grab your ice or pasty, your so intent on making sure he will not get what he wants that you totally miss his mate making his attack run from behind you!!

            Clever little g*ts!
            Your charts, your radar, your eyes and ears - if all 4 agree, you may proceed with caution.

            Comment


              Originally posted by pakarang View Post
              Amazing... they sure do love their ice!
              How frustrating is this!!!!
              Surely there must be a photo somewhere of me eating an icecream . . . but it seems the photo filing system isn’t up to the challenge. Sorry folks

              Comment


                Oh dear, you will have to excuse me but this just needed to be posted here!

                http://www.panlogic.co.uk/wwf/seagull/game.swf

                I managed a minus 27.
                Your charts, your radar, your eyes and ears - if all 4 agree, you may proceed with caution.

                Comment


                  Mad cats!

                  Last edited by Steve.B; May 22nd, 2009, 01:13. Reason: Embedding not allowed on first video
                  Your charts, your radar, your eyes and ears - if all 4 agree, you may proceed with caution.

                  Comment


                    Gas & ***

                    A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free *** with Fill-Up.

                    Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free ***. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free ***. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7.... sorry, no *** this time.'

                    A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free ***. The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time.

                    The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free *** this time.'

                    As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free ***.' Bubba replied,' No it ain' t, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week!
                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      Rapping safety information

                      FUNNY STEWARD SOUTHWEST AIRLINES RAPPING SAFETY INFORMATION

                      Øistein

                      If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you...

                      Comment


                        I enjoy aviation humor.
                        Whenever I got three passengers in my little four-seat Piper and we approach to land, I go on the intercom: -"Cabin crew, take your seats for landing!"
                        "IF GOD COULD MAKE ANGELS...., WHY IN HELL MAKE MAN?"

                        Comment


                          I LOVED the rap--

                          and Svein...why does this not surprise me???????

                          Comment


                            Originally posted by Sterkoder View Post
                            "Cabin crew, take your seats for landing!"
                            But, where are they supposed to 'take their seats'...? This one is probably lost in translation...
                            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                            Comment


                              I'm posting this here, not because I think it's funny, but so y'all can have a wry chuckle on us Americans.......

                              ONLY IN AMERICA
                              – 2009 VERSION

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….MUST WE SPEND BILLIONS BECAUSE WE CAN'T LET CHRYSLER GO BANKRUPT, AND THEN, LET CHRYSLER GO BANKRUPT.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN CONGRESS FORCE FANNIE AND FREDDIE TO BUY SUBPRIME LOANS, AND THEN BLAME FANNIE AND FREDDIE FOR BUYING SUBPRIME LOANS. THEN LAY OFF THE CEO's WITH GIANT SEVERENCE PACKAGES AND NATIONALIZE THE COMPANIES FOR THE TAX PAYERS TO PICK UP!!

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….A MAJOR CRISIS REQUIRES SWIFT ACTION TO PASS A BILL WITHOUT READING IT, THEN VACATION FOR THREE DAYS BEFORE THE PRESIDENT HAS TIME TO SIGN IT.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….YOU CAN BE LEGALLY ILLEGAL

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….THE CONGRESS MAKE LAWS THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….WHERE YOUR VICE PRESIDENT DECLARES 'JOBS' A 3 LETTER WORD.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA...DOES THE MILITARY GET INVESTIGATED BY HOMELAND SECURITY AS POSSIBLE TERRORISTS, WHILE OUR BORDERS ARE WIDE OPEN.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA , CAN YOU GET A TAX REFUND ON TAXES YOU DIDN'T PAY.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN YOU CAN BLAME OTHERS WHEN YOU DON'T PERFORM.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA, YOU HAVE MORE RIGHTS BEING ILLEGAL, THAN YOU DO LEGAL.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN YOU BE 13 AND HAVE AN ABORTION WITHOUT TELLING YOUR PARENTS, BUT MUST HAVE A WRITTEN NOTE FROM YOUR PARENT WHY YOU MISSED SCHOOL.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA, ARE YOU PUNISHED FOR GOOD PERFORMANCE AND REVERED FOR NONPERFORMANCE.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN YOU CALL LARGE CORPORATIONS EVIL, WHILE 99.9% OF THE AMERICANS WORK IN COMPANIES WITH LESS THAN 500 EMPLOYEES.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA, CAN CHRYSLER GET 10 BILLION IN AID FOR THEIR COMPANY OF 30,000 EMPLOYEES. I GUESS IT IS DIFFICULT TO RUN A COMPANY FOR $333,333 PER EMPLOYEE. (How many employees does Chrysler have? Does this money insure union pensions while the bailout is costing us half of ours?)

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….WE CARE ABOUT 3 GUYS THAT GET WATER UP THE NOSE, WHILE OUR ENEMIES ARE BEHEADING US AND BLOWING CROWDS OF PEOPLE UP WITH SUICIDE BOMBINGS. (It is the people who want the 10 commandments eradicated and religion demolished who care about these three guys.)

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….YOU CAN SAY OTHER INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES WORK, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THOSE TECHNIQUES ARE.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA….YOU CAN BE PRESIDENT WITHOUT A BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

                              ONLY IN AMERICA, WHATEVER GOES WRONG WILL ALWAYS BE BUSH'S FAULT.

                              LASTLY, HOWEVER, IN AMERICA, YOU CAN ONLY BE PRESIDENT………WHEN THE TELEPROMPTER IS ON!

                              Comment


                                "Stockholm Syndrome" report on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart--sent to me by my Swedish "son" the doctor.

                                A funny report on Sweden's socialist tendencies.......

                                Part One

                                Part Two
                                Last edited by ehp; May 28th, 2009, 23:23.

                                Comment

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