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    Originally posted by ehp View Post
    New steel pillar installation to keep cars from parking on the sidewalk.....


    Almost like the guy who paints himself into a corner when painting the floor.
    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

    Comment


      Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
      Joe: 'Really?'
      Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'


      A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
      'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
      'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
      'Oops!'


      The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt oflightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,
      'Well, she's there.'

      Comment


        A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'

        The father replied, 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'




        Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

        'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'



        A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'

        'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'

        Comment


          An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
          The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'


          A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
          The agent replies, 'Just a minute..'
          'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.


          Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. 'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
          'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
          'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
          'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'

          Comment


            Feeling unappreciated lately?

            Comment


              Things Got You Down? Consider These...

              In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 am Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts were assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00 am, Kenneth Roberts, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.


              Betty came home to find Jerry in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

              Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.


              Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

              Comment


                Nature Trumps Humans

                The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.

                A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

                Comment


                  STILL having a Bad Day????

                  Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
                  It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
                  God is Good!


                  There now, feeling better, are we?

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by ehp View Post
                    Feeling unappreciated lately?



                    It's time to show a bit more compassion I guess... I think that office needs to go to one of those "work as a team-camps"...
                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide.'

                      The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'

                      The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

                      The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'

                      The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

                      The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'
                      With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                      Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                      Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                      Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                      Comment


                        Bird Loving Ray Charles:

                        http://www.maniacworld.com/bird-loves-ray-charles.html
                        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                        Comment


                          If a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

                          When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
                          Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
                          Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
                          Take naps.
                          Stretch before rising.
                          Run, romp, and play daily.
                          Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
                          Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
                          On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
                          On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
                          When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
                          Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
                          Be loyal.
                          Never pretend to be something you're not.
                          If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
                          When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.


                          ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

                          Comment


                            To my boss

                            Sorry, but I'm not able to come to work today owing to the fact that there is 20 cm of snow in front of my house.
                            See enclosed picture.

                            Have a nice weekend




                            Øistein

                            If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you...

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by Oistein View Post
                              To my boss

                              Sorry, but I'm not able to come to work today owing to the fact that there is 20 cm of snow in front of my house.
                              See enclosed picture.
                              Yeah right....
                              With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                              Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                              Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                              Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                              Comment


                                If you owe someone money, this trick may work:

                                With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                                Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                                Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                                Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                                Comment

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