Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

::: Creating that gorgeous smile of the day :::

Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

    Comment


      Well, take a look at this video....., a chain of laughter at Skype
      NOTE: the nr. three guy...., the famous schoolbus driver from another video from Comedy Barn)
      http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/p32OC97aNqc/default.jpg

      (If you're not even smiling, there must be something wrong...)
      Last edited by Sterkoder; March 14th, 2009, 00:17.
      "IF GOD COULD MAKE ANGELS...., WHY IN HELL MAKE MAN?"

      Comment


        Here's the schoolbus driver Doug Collins at Comedy Barn
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4Y4keqTV6w

        Last edited by pakarang; March 14th, 2009, 10:57. Reason: Embedded youtube video
        "IF GOD COULD MAKE ANGELS...., WHY IN HELL MAKE MAN?"

        Comment


          Originally posted by Sterkoder View Post
          Here's the schoolbus driver Doug Collins at Comedy Barn
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4Y4keqTV6w
          That just tickled me no end.....I'm still laughing...

          Comment


            THE DARWIN AWARDS - 2009 EDITION

            The Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual honour given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out. This year's winner was a real "rocket scientist"! Read on...And remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY.

            And the nominees were:

            Semi-finalist #1
            A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

            Semi-finalist #2

            Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

            Semi-finalist #3

            A 22-year-old Reston, VA , man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Basia, a fast food worker, attached a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake According Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Basia was alone because his car was found nearby. 'The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,' Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was 'major trauma.' YA THINK!?

            Semi-finalist #4

            A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized.

            Semi-finalist #5

            Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building & extinguished all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.

            Comment


              Now, the winner of this year's Darwin Award (As always, awarded posthumously):

              The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smouldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

              The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.

              The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20 -25 seconds.

              The driver(soon to be pilot) would have experienced G- forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then became airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

              Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

              Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.

              Comment


                How to undress a woman with an excavator

                Apparently the operator has 5 minutes to remove the womans clothing and place her clothes on a coat rack... all with a hydraulic excavator (track hoe). I have to make sure my wife does not see this one.

                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuWSxFWv3Fo

                Last edited by pakarang; March 18th, 2009, 21:46. Reason: Embedded youtube video

                Comment


                  Originally posted by Remarc View Post
                  Now, the winner of this year's Darwin Award
                  I always love when the year's Darwin awards are posted.. THANKS!!

                  Comment


                    With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                    Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                    Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                    Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by pakarang View Post
                      guess you have a few over-40 female friends?????

                      Comment


                        Originally posted by ehp View Post
                        guess you have a few over-40 female friends?????
                        Just a very special one...
                        With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                        Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                        Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                        Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                        Comment


                          With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                          Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                          Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                          Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                          Comment


                            The Stork

                            A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?"

                            "Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us."

                            "Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"

                            "Oh, the stork brought us too."

                            "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.

                            "Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little.

                            Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
                            With best regards from Jan-Olav Storli

                            Administrator and Owner of CaptainsVoyage.
                            Main page: http://www.captainsvoyage.com

                            Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence.

                            Comment


                              This must have been formulated after St. Patricks Day....save for next year!!!

                              The Beer Drinkers Troubleshooting Guide

                              Last edited by ehp; March 20th, 2009, 14:50.

                              Comment


                                New steel pillar installation to keep cars from parking on the sidewalk.....
                                Last edited by ehp; March 21st, 2009, 05:17.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X